Sunday, November 22, 2015

This Thanksgiving Holiday, We're Thankful For:

Since you're not getting a blog next weekend, we decided that it would be best if we posted SOMETHING this week for you to salivate over. Thanksgiving is a good time to reflect on the things that you're thankful for and that's what we'll talk about this week.

1. We are so thankful that the Mets made it to the World Series.
2. We are very, very thankful that Lisa survived the post season.
3. We are thankful that David Ortiz is retiring and that after this season, we won't have to see his fat face ever again.
4. Serena is above and beyond thankful that the new Star Wars movie is coming out in just a few short weeks.
5. We are thankful for Instagram for without Instagram, we would not have found the glory that is The Rock (@therock), Steve Weatherford (@weatherford5), and Steve Weatherford's daughter, Rara (@rarasplayhouse). In fact, we are so thankful for the Weatherford's family Instagram accounts that when we're feeling sad, we go directly there so that we can watch videos that will make us laugh our asses off.
6. We are thankful for David Beckham. He may be People's 2015 Sexiest Man Alive, but to us, he is the sexiest man alive every damn day of every damn year.
7. We are thankful that they're finally building a Chipotle and Taco Bell around the corner from Serena's apartment. Our prayers have been answered.
8. We are thankful for Ben Verlander, Justin Verlander's younger, more attractive brother. When the hell is he getting his chance in The Show? Good grief. Justin, move over. You can have Kate.
9. We are so thankful that we only have seven more stadiums to go. After that, it's just leisurely spring training ballparks and locales that simply sound interesting to Casablanca, Moscow, and Graceland.
10. The following Disney princes: Flynn Rider, Prince Eric, and the Asian from Mulan. If Jess were here, she'd insist that we give a shout out to Prince Adam/Beast.

Just a few things that we're not totally appreciative of:
1. Fat baseball players (to be discussed in further detail in a later blog post).
2. The Mets losing the World Series and shattering our parade dreams.
3. Bald roommates that use all of your shit and don't bother cleaning up after themselves.
4. People who divulge their Christmas gifts for you instead of just waiting until Christmas for you to discover it yourself.
5. Fugly sluts that can't be trusted.
6. People who put up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.
7. Pig Birds. The latest trend in perverts.
8. The Mets denying Lisa access to purchasing Opening Day tickets after specifically sending her a postcard to "Buy now with promo code: NLCHAMPS."
9. The Lionel Richie "Hello" video. What a creeper/pig bird.
10. The way the New York Giants have been playing. The Mets have already played with our heart strings enough this 2015. Do the Giants really have to continue the onslaught of heart burn and terror?

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Since We've Been Gone...

So, we've been the worst bloggers in history. We gave you Baltimore action and then flat left you. We didn't even cover the playoffs - a post season in which a New York team was represented. However, in our defense, we've been extremely busy. And also popular. Since we feel like we owe you a little bit of an explanation, we'll detail our timeline from the Baltimore game to today.

We'll start with just a few weekends after we traveled to Baltimore and went to a Yankees doubleheader. At the end of September, we ran in the Tunnel 2 the Tower 5K with Auntiedukes, Stephanie, Julia, and Julia's extremely tall sidekick.
The Saturday immediately following the Tunnel 2 the Tower Run, we ran a half marathon with Stephanie. After we crossed the finish line, this extremely handsome firefighter took a photo with us. Unfortunately, he tried to pose for a photo with us before giving Serena her medal and that was simply unacceptable, so she yelled at him. We were a little cranky from running for over 2 hours.

As if 13 miles weren't enough, Serena and Auntiedukes chose to walk in the Avon 39 NYC event shortly after. Lisa, Aunt Cathy, Mamadukes, Roberta, Stephanie, and Julia came out to cheer them on.

Feeling randy from our recent athletic endeavors, we chose to go pumpkin picking and participate in all of the farm's children's activities.
We laid low from that point on until Halloween. We spent our time busy like beavers to ensure the perfection execution of our Halloween costumes. In the end, our hard work and attention to detail paid off. We partied at a bar in Chelsea within view of the Empire State Building. Erin and The Favorite traveled down from Boston to join us. Behold the kick ass crossover super hero crew:

During this time, as you know, the Mets were chipping their way through the Division Series, Championship Series, and into the World Series. We tried to cross another item off the NYE resolution list by acquiring tickets to one of these playoff games, however Lisa felt slightly wronged. The Mets required her to enter a lottery in order to have the opportunity to purchase tickets. Lisa received an email that she didn't qualify to purchase for the Division Series, which was a bummer. Both of us agreed that we wouldn't pay the ass raping prices of StubHub for these tickets. We have pride. Sometimes too much pride, which bites us in the ass, but in this case, it served our bank accounts well.

All was not lost. The Mets advanced to the Championship. This time, Lisa qualified. By the time she got tickets, all that was left were tickets to "game 4." We discussed this while foam rolling at the gym.
"Oh! I got us tickets to game 4. That's all that was left."
Serena: "Are you sure it's for game 4 and not the fourth home game?"
Lisa: "No. It says game 4 on the tickets."
Serena: "Oh, that's new. They didn't used to do it that way."
Lisa: "Yeah. We definitely have tickets to game 4."
Serena: "Cool."

Fast forward:
Lisa: "Sooooooo, it turns out we have tickets to game 7."
Serena: "I knew it."
Lisa: "Yeah, so this game will either be extremely epic or a goddamn nightmare. We'll either be celebrating or I'm going home crying."

As you know, the Mets never made it to game 7 because they swept the Cubs. Side note: Lisa only just got her money back today. Way to be on top of that, Ticketmaster. So quick to take the money, but not so quick to give it back.

Onto the World Series. Lisa received yet another rejection email from the Mets.
Meanwhile, all around us are these fake bandwagon Mets fans going to the playoff games. It was infuriating. Here we are, supporting our teams and each other through good times and not so good times, through old stadiums and new. Faithful to the end. Then these buffoons come in here with their clean, shiny, brand new Mets memorabilia with the tags still on it and take our ticket opportunities away. That's really all we have to say on this subject. We don't want to talk about it anymore.

Back to our busy, fun-filled schedule. Today, we ran what may or may not be our final run for the year (there's talk of a turkey trot at the end of the month, but we're unable to confirm or deny that at this time): the Damon Runyon 5K. Today was our 4th go round of this particular race, Stephanie's second, and Dan's first. We're proud to say that we broke his run cherry. Once again, Lisa was displeased by the idea that walkers got a medal as well as the runners since they didn't do half the work that we did. Lisa was also extremely put out by the fact that there was no cheese table. In fact, she was so upset by this injustice that she inserted the word, "cheese" into random sentences throughout the rest of the day. After our run, we ate, drank coffee, and napped (not in a puppy pile).
Now, we wait for the Giants to blow it either in the last final games of the season or in the first round of the playoffs, we wait for spring training, we wait for the Bronx Zoo run, and we wait for Opening Day. In the midst of this, perhaps we will actually get our shit together and plan a stadium tour.We do only have seven stadiums left and as per usual with us, as we get down to the wire, we start dragging our feet.

PS - our ADD caused this blog post to take over 2 hours to write. Wait until the baseball season and all of our game photos, people. ALL DAY blog posts. ALL DAY.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Return to Oriole Park

September 11, 2015

We chose to return to Oriole Park as Orioles fans this time. This trip also marked our 60th game together. Consider it our Traveling Baseball Baberversary. We left for Baltimore after work. Made pretty good time until the BQE. There, we died. We died for a long time. On the plus side, we drove alongside a sexy beast in an Acura. He waved to us. We swooned.

We posted photos and videos of our drive down to Baltimore on Instagram/Twatter (@TravelingBBabes). If you haven't checked them out/"liked" all of our photos yet, you should really get on that. We don't know what you're waiting for.

Serena photographed our arrival:
We parked in a nearby garage for $20, which sounds steep, but after being on the road for over four hours, we probably would've paid a lot more. We just wanted out of the car. We approached the stadium from the same angle that we approached it in 2008.
The first thing we noticed is that there were the new additions to the area (at least the additions were new for us). The numbers of retired Orioles. And also, Babe Ruth. With a lot of people hanging around him.

Once inside, we received our free giveaway - an Orioles hoodie sweatshirt.We also got our TrapperKeepers stamped and ran around the Kids' Zone.


Before heading to our seats, we bought an O's pretzel and a bacon on a stick.

Lisa had an incident while standing on line waiting for her stick of bacon. When Serena found her at the stand, Lisa had dry heave face on. Serena almost asked why when she smelled it. The scent of diaper shit. And something special. Extra special. According to Lisa's sources (and by "sources," we mean that Lisa eavesdropped on a couple's conversation), the Orioles' ballpark staff neglected to take the garbage out during the last homestead. We cannot confirm or deny if this is true. It seems unlikely that this is what transpired, but the smell was unlike any other. It was worse than the Bog of Eternal Stench. And death. Decaying death. And poop. Decaying poop.

On a more positive, both food items were delicious. Thank god the poop smell couldn't curb our appetite.

Here are some photos taken from our seats:
 This photo is why we're probably not looking any sexier from our half-marathon training:
We look so much nicer in low lighting...

There are 79 bronze baseball-shaped plaques scattered across the concourse on Eutaw Street representing each home run hit beyond the outfield walls to Eutaw Street. Since there are so many, we agreed to document the first Yankee player we found. Unfortunately, that Yankee was Johnny Damon. Since Serena refused to allow that man to be commemorated on our blog, we settled for the second Yankee. That player was Curtis Granderson, now playing for the Mets. So it was a win-win.

We also found the plaque for Ken Griffey's home run during the 1993 Home Run Derby in which he hit the wall of the warehouse.
We found out that Papa Schwall was in the house, so we met him by Boog's BBQ to say hello. He kind of reminds us of Papa L., only he's not bitter. Or angry. We failed and didn't take a photo of him for the blog. Doom on us. He wore a spiffy Orioles polo shirt whereas we looked like greasy white trash.

Since Serena has been to Oriole Park several times before her visit with Lisa in 2008, she's already sampled the savory tastes of Boog's BBQ. Therefore, Serena purchased a crab cake ("crab cakes and football. That's what Maryland's made of.") for us to split. At the the BBQ stand, Lisa ordered the pork sandwich and added BBQ sauce and horseradish. Since we didn't feel like climbing all the way back to our seats, we sat on the floor of Eutaw Street and ate. Like classy beasts. Sitting around the African watering hole, swatting the flies were our smelly tails.
Again, our food choices were on point this evening. This made up for the horrendous sausage sandwich we had at the ballpark in 2008. Serena's phone began dying in the top of the 8th inning, so before it officially died, we ran to the area behind left centerfield to photograph the bronze statues of the retired players.

We knew that we had to get back to New York for our Yankees' double header the following afternoon. Therefore, instead of spending the night, we chose to head back to Long Island that night. We initially planned on staying for the entire game, but to be frank, the game wasn't pretty. Kansas City rolled all night. At the bottom of the 8th, we felt it best to hit the road. It was already after 11, we had at least four hours to drive, and we knew that we had a long day coming our way. So we left. As we departed, we re-took the photo of the Babe Ruth statue without anyone using him as a jungle gym.

As Serena snapped these last photos, her phone died. We returned to the car and turned the air conditioner on as high as possible so that we could continue wearing our comfy cozy sweatshirts.

Lisa turned onto the parkway. Serena plugged her phone into the mobile charger. A few things happened. For starters, we missed Papa Schwall finding awesome field level seats for us to sit in. More importantly, we missed the grand slam home run and solo home run that gave Baltimore the come from behind victory. Awesome.

You're welcome, Baltimore. If we'd stayed until the end, you would've lost.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

TBB's First Yankees' Double Header Ends in Failure

Saturday was a day of many firsts for us. It was the first time we rolled into a game (any game) with a posse. First double header at Yankee Stadium. First time attending 3 games in 24 hours. First time hating on Blue Jays fans. Lisa tried Yuengling for the first time (and actually liked it). So we'll start from the beginning.

We'd just come off a Friday that included a drive to and from Baltimore and an Orioles game. We got home Saturday morning at two. We got tickets to this Yankees game for registering early for the Stephen Siller Tunnel to the Towers 5K. Stephanie, Auntiedukes, and Julia are all running with us and therefore, received these tickets as well. Auntiedukes ordered an extra ticket for Uncle Alan, so we already knew that we'd be sitting with a sizable group. Then we found out that our friends, Lindsey and Brian were going, so we agreed to drive in together to save on parking, gas, and tolls. Saturday's game was supposed to take place at 4:05 pm.Then the game was changed to 1:05 pm. Then it became a double header. Bonus.

We arrived a little late at the stadium, so we missed the first home runs by Gardner and Headley.

We parted ways at their section and met the rest of the crew at our seats.
The game started promising. We were with good people. The Yanks were winning. Serena received word that Meryl's brother (and by extension, Serena's adopted brother) and mother were in the house, so Serena headed off to grab a drink at the Sunrun Rooftop Deck.

While Serena caught up with David and Mama Landau, Lisa attempted to buy her own beer from a wandering gypsy vendor. It did not end well for her. The vendor carried Bronx Brewery Pale Ale, which Lisa had never tried before, but she figured, "why not?" She knew something terrible was afoot when, in lieu of a cup of beer, Lisa received two cups of mostly head. The beer also tasted like someone took a shit in her cup. Julia thought it was hilarious.
It also went terribly for the Yankees. The lead quickly dissipated. With the lead gone, the bandwagon Jays fans arrived. Allow us to travel back in time. To a time when the Blue Jays were not contenders. To a time when the TBB traveled across the border to O'Canada. Lisa was stopped at customs and was questioned for her decision to travel to Toronto in order to see the Blue Jays. Even country officials scoffed at this team. At the stadium, the stands were mostly empty.

Fast forward to yesterday's games. Our stands were filled with a pack of Blue Jay memorabilia-wearing ASS CLOWNS. Do you know how we know these fans were phony bandwagon fans? Because while in Toronto, we went two games and no one acted like an obnoxious ass clown. Now these fake ass bitches roll into our house and act like buffoons. Oh, no, no. We will not accept what Rodney Harrison calls, "this foolishness." Therefore, we gave the fans The Kermit Face.

Serena ordered herself and Auntiedukes a Yuengling and we each got a bucket of chicken tenders with garlic fries for $23 (no garlic would've been $20, but seriously, why wouldn't you make the $3 investment?). Let us repeat that. We EACH ordered a bucket of chicken tenders with garlic fries. Stephanie acted like a real lady and simply ordered herself a "platter." As we returned to our seats, several men RUDELY implied that we were gluttons. Note: we didn't judge them when they refilled their popcorn bucket not once, but twice. And then wore the bucket on their heads. Had the hat situation not gone down, we'd planned on stealing the empty bucket on their departure so that WE could get a refill, but the fact that it rested on a stranger's head is crossing the line. Even for us. Also, they took the bucket with them when they left, so...yeah.

The game would go into several infuriating extra innings and end in a Yankees loss.
We tried to remain optimistic. The day could be salvaged with a win.
Unfortunately, the second game began where the first left off. The Yankees looking like the Mighty Ducks before Gordon Bombay took over coaching duties and the Blue Jays fans acting like Beyonce was in town. Assholes.

Basically, the only good thing to come out of these two games is the discovery that Dustin Ackley is adorable and has a killer smile and that Lisa likes Yuengling. The rest of the day was pretty much a shit show. Including the drive home.